The Twilight Saga 3: Eclipse EPILOGUE – CHOICE

JACOBBLACKJacob, do you theorize this is going to take withal practically longer? Leah demanded. Impatient. Whiney.My teeth clenched together. give wish well whatever star in the pack, Leah knew everything. She knew wherefore I came here to the very edge of the earth and sky and sea. To be alone. She knew that this was all I treasured. Just to be alone. scarce Leah was going to persuasiveness her company on me, anyway.Besides being crazy annoyed, I did retrieve smug for a brief second. Because I didnt even pick kayoed to think almost controlling my temper. It was easy now, something I just did, natural. The red fog didnt wash everyplace my eye. The heat didnt shiver piling my spine. My voice was steady d deliver when I answered.Jump off a cliff, Leah. I pointed to the one at my feet.Really, kid. She ignored me, throwing herself into a sprawl on the ground next to me. You devour no idea how hard this is for me.For you? It took me a minute to believe she was serious. You rent to be the most self-absorbed person alive, Leah. Id hate to shatter the stargaze world you livein the one where the sun is or frosty the place where you stand so I wont key you how little I care what your problem is. Go. Away.Just air at this from my perspective for a minute, okay? she continued as if I hadnt said anything.If she was analyzeing to break my mood, it worked. I started laughing. The just hurt in strange ways.Stop snorting and pay attention, she snapped.If I pretend to listen, leave alone you leave? I asked, glancing over at the permanent frown on her face. I wasnt certainly if she had any other expressions any more than.I remembered back to when I used to think that Leah was pretty, maybe even beautiful. That was a long date ago. No one estimation of her that way now. Except for surface-to-air missile. He was never going to forgive himself. Like it was his fault that shed turned into this bitter harpy.Her scowl heated up, as if she could guess w hat I was thinking. Probably could.This is making me sick, Jacob. nooky you imagine what this feels deal to me? I dont even corresponding Bella Swan. And youve got me grieving over this leech-lover like Im in love with her, too. Can you see where that might be a little confusing? I dreamed ab push finished gorgerin her last night What the hell am I supposed to do with that?Do I care?I cant stand being in your head anymore Get over her al watchy Shes going to draw that thing. Hes going to try to change her into one of them Time to move on, boy. debar up, I growled.It would be wrong to strike back. I knew that. I was biting my tongue. But shed be sorry if she didnt walk away. Now.Hell probably just efface her anyway, Leah said. Sneering. All the stories say that happens more often than non. Maybe a funeral result be better closure than a wedding. Ha.This time I had to work. I closed my eyes and fought the hot taste in my m bulgeh. I pushed and shoved against the sailplaning of fire down in the mouth my back, w occupyling to keep my shape together bit my body tried to shake apart.When I was in control again, I glowered at her. She was watching my hands as the tremors slowed. Smiling. well-nigh joke.If youre upset about gender confusion, Leah . . . , I said. Slow, emphasizing each word. How do you think the rest of us like looking at Sam through your eyes? Its bad seemly that Emily has to deal with your fixation. She doesnt need us guys panting later on him, too.Pissed as I was, I still felt unrighteous when I watched the spasm of distress shoot across her face.She scrambled to her feet pausing whole to spit in my direction and ran for the trees, vibrating like a tuning fork.I laughed darkly. You missed.Sam was going to give me hell for that, precisely it was worth it. Leah wouldnt rag me anymore. And Id do it again if I had the chance.Because her quarrel were still there, scratching themselves into my brain, the pain of it so strong that I c ould hardly breathe.It didnt matter so much that Bellad chosen someone else over me. That hurt was nothing at all. That agony I could live with for the rest of my stupid, too long, stretched-out life.But it did matter that she was broad up everything that she was letting her heart split and her skin ice over and her mind twist into some crystallized predators head. A monster. A stranger.I would comport thought there was nothing worse than that, nothing more painful in the whole world.But, if he wipe outed her . . .Again, I had to fight the rage. Maybe, if not for Leah, it would be good to let the heat change me into a prick who could deal with it better. A creature with instincts so much stronger than human emotions. An brute who couldnt feel pain in the same way. A different pain. Some variety, at least. But Leah was digestning now, and I didnt want to share her thoughts. I cussed her under my breath for taking away that escape, too.My hands were quiver in spite of me. W hat shook them? Anger? Agony? I wasnt sure what I was fightingnow.I had to believe that Bella would survive. But that required trust a trust I didnt want to feel, a trust in that bloodsuckers magnate to keep her alive.She would be different, and I wondered how that would affect me. Would it be the same as if she had died, to see her standing there like a stone? Like ice? When her scent burned in my nostrils and triggered the instinct to rip, to tear . . . How would that be? Could I want to kill her? Could I not want to kill one of them?I watched the swells roll toward the beach. They disappeared from sight under the edge of the cliff, just I heard them beat against the sand. I watched them until it was late, long after dark. going home was probably a bad idea. But I was hungry, and I couldnt think of another plan.I made a face as I pulled my arm through the retarded sling and grabbed my crutches. If only Charlie hadnt seen me that mean solar day and spread the word of my motorcy cle accident. Stupid props. I hated them. acquittance hungry started to look better when I walked in the house and got a look at my dads face. He had something on his mind. It was easy to tell he always overdid it. Acted all casual.He also talked too much. He was digressive about his day before I could get to the table. He never jabbered like this unless there was something that he didnt want to say. I ignored him as best I could, concentrating on the food. The faster I choked it down . . . . . . and Sue stopped by today. My dads voice was loud. Hard to ignore. As always. dread(a) woman. Shes tougher than grizzlies, that one. I dont know how she deals with that daughter of hers, though. Now Sue, she would experience made one hell of a wolf. Leahs more of a wolverine. He chuckled at his own joke.He waited briefly for my response, but didnt seem to see my blank, bored-out-of-my-mind expression. Most geezerhood that bugged him. I wished he would shut up about Leah. I was trying no t to think about her.Seths a lot easier. Of course, you were easier than your sisters, too, until . . . well, you have more to deal with than they did.I sighed, long and deep, and stared out the window.Billy was tranquility for a second too long. We got a letter today.I could tell that this was the subject hed been avoiding.A letter?A . . . wedding invitation.Every ponderousness in my body locked into place. A feather of heat seemed to brush down my back. I held onto the table to keep my hands steady.Billy went on like he hadnt noticed. at that places a note inside thats addressed to you. I didnt read it.He pulled a thick ivory envelope from where it was wedged surrounded by his leg and the side of his wheelchair. He laid it on the table mingled with us.You probably dont need to read it. Doesnt really matter what it says.Stupid prohibit psychology. I yanked the envelope off the table.It was some heavy, stiff paper. Expensive. Too determine for Forks. The card inside was the sa me, too done- up and spend a pennyal. Bellad had nothing to do with this. There was no sign of her personal taste in the layers of see- through, petal-printed pages. Id bet she didnt like it at all. I didnt read the words, not even to see the date. I didnt care.There was a piece of the thick ivory paper folded inhalf with my stir handwritten in black ink on the back. I didnt realize the handwriting, but it was as fancy as the rest of it. For half a second, I wondered if the bloodsucker was into gloating.I flipped it open.Jacob,Im breaking the rules by sending you this. She was agoraphobic of hurting you, and she didnt want tomake you feel obligated in any way. But I know that, if things had gone the other way, I would havewanted the choice.I promise I will take care of her, Jacob. Thank you for her for everything.EdwardJake, we only have the one table, Billy said. He was staring at my left hand.My fingers were clamped down on the wood hard enough that it really was in danger. I loosened them one by one, concentrating on that action alone, and then clenched my hands together so I couldnt break anything.Yeah, doesnt matter anyway, Billy muttered.I got up from the table, shrugging out of my island of Jersey as I stood. Hopefully Leah had gone home by now.not too late, Billy mumbled as I punched the front door out of my way.I was tally before I hit the trees, my clothes strewn out behind me like a trail of crumbs as if I wanted to find my way back. It was almost too easy now to phase. I didnt have to think. My body already knew where I was going and, before I asked it to, it gave me what I wanted.I had four legs now, and I was flying.The trees blurred into a sea of black flowing around me. My muscles bunched and released in an effortless rhythm. I could run like this for days and I would not be tired. Maybe, this time, I wouldnt stop.But I wasnt alone.So sorry, Embry whispered in my head.I could see through his eyes. He was farther away, to the north, b ut he had wheeled around and was rush to join me. I growled and pushed myself faster.Wait for us, Quil complained. He was closer, just starting out from the village.Leave me alone, I snarled.I could feel their worry in my head, try hard as I might to drown it in the sound of the wind and the forest. This was what I hated most seeing myself through their eyes, worse now that their eyes were full of pity. They saw the hate, but they kept running after me.A new voice sounded in my head.Let him go. Sams thought was soft, but still an order. Embry and Quil slowed to a walk.If only I could stop hearing, stop seeing what they saw. My head was so crowded, but the only way to be alone again was to be human, and I couldnt stand the pain.Phase back, Sam directed them. Ill pick you up, Embry.First one, then another awareness washed-out into silence. Only Sam was left.Thank you, I managed to think.Come home when you can. The words were faint, trailing off into blank emptiness as he left, too. And I was alone.So much better. Now I could hear the faint abstract of the matted leaves beneath my toenails, the whisper of an owls wings above me, the ocean far, far in the west moaning against the beach. Hear this, and nothing more. Feel nothing but speed, nothing but the pull of muscle, sinew, and bone, working together in concordance as the miles disappeared behind me.If the silence in my head lasted, I would never go back. I wouldnt be the first one to choose this form over the other. Maybe, if I ran far enough away, I would never have to hear again. . . .I pushed my legs faster, letting Jacob Black disappear behind me.