Succubus Shadows Chapter 13

I woke up next to solidification, and for the space of heartbeat, I thought I truly was waking waking up from an awful, awful dream ab extinct the Oneroi and everything else that had happened since Seth and I had broken up. He lay asleep in fill let on with the sheets tangled around him, his light brown hair glinting reddish in the morning sun. He slept only in boxers, and his chest looked potent and as yet-tempered and perfect for cuddling against.His breathing was level, his posture still and relaxed. I drank it only in, in all the little Seth details Id been missing for months. I swore that I could even smell him. Did dreams drive home smells? This one did, I was genuine. That soft woodsy-apple scent wrapped around me like an embrace. afterward a few moments, he began to stir and sleepily open his eyes. He squinted at the light and rolled onto his back, stifling a yawn. I wanted to roll right everywhere to him and snuggle against his warmth, telling him all about the nightmares Id been having. then, I real numberized there was no expression I could go to him. I couldnt move. Well, that wasnt exactly true. in that respect was more to it than that. I just didnt convey a body. I was an observer only, like the invisible camera Id been with Roman and Jerome. This apparently was non a dream I was active in, and the realization of that brood home the terrible truth this was still an Oneroi dream. I hadnt imagined them. I hadnt imagined Seth and me breaking up.He sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. It was such a familiar, nostalgic sight. Getting up was al miens hard for him, largely because of the bizarre writing hours he kept. He glanced over at the clock, which was near the direction from which I was watching. His eyes passed right over where I would have been. Yes. I was just a ghost in this. But what was this exactly? Truth or craft?The time on the clock nine in the morning must have been motivation enough for him to drag himself out of be d. Still in boxers, he stumbled into the bathroom, miraculously not walking into anything in his sleepy state. While brushing his teeth, he noticed a note on the counter. I immediately recognized the writing because I saw it all the time at the bookstore.Went in early today to dumbfound a few things through and should be done by six. Bring Brandy by, if you can, to try on those shoes.Love,MaddieSeeing Maddies name jolted me out of the Seth Fantasyland Id been living in as he went through his morning routine. Expanding my vision now, I saw changes to his bathroom things that hadnt been there when wed dated. Another toothbrush, for one thing. Makeup in the corner. A pink robe on the bathroom hook. On the books, Maddie was still sharing a place with Doug, only when we all knew what the reality was. That pain that hadnt in reality leftfield since my last dream grew tighter within my chest. She was all over this place. She had left her mark everywhere, everywhere in this space he a nd I had once shared together. I had been replaced.Seth went through the rest of his routine, including a unco fast shower. He was notorious for staying in there forever while plotting around story line. I tried hard not to focus on the sight of him naked and wet and instead pondered where he might be qualifying today. If it was just to write at the bookstore, he wouldnt have been moving so briskly.He easily found clean boxers and jeans, yet the hardest part of his day came next what T-shirt to transgress? When wed been together, Id loved watching this. Id lie in bed after all, I had no urgency to ever get ready laughing while he deliberated and deliberated over his massive T-shirt collection. each(prenominal) had its own hanger, displaying some bit of retro or pop culture novelty. Vanilla Ice. ALF. Mr. T cereal. He flipped through them all, studying each one conservatively as his hand touched each sleeve.Then, his fingers on the spur of the moment brushed against a sleeve long than the others. His closet wasnt all T-shirts. There were a few sweaters and pullovers crammed into the sides. There was also a flannel shirt it was what hed stopped and noticed. Pushing the other shirts aside, he took the flannel off of its hanger and held it up, his motions almost reverent.Even without physical form, I had the brilliance of my heart going still. I knew this shirt. It was one hed given me to wear a long time ago, the night Id passed out at his place from too lots alcohol. Id met his family the next day, looking ridiculous with the flannel over my strappy party dress. Even while dating, Id totally forgotten all about that shirt.He held it there betwixt his detainment, and the look on his facethere was so much there, I didnt even know where to start. Seth was so good at watching his flavor neutral and could be extremely short-spoken when he chose. But here, alone, he was unguarded. There was sorrow on his face. Sorrow and regret. And when he held the shir t up and rested his sharpen on it, I saw longing as well. The whole mood was rounded out with a sort of helpless resignation. He inhaled deeply and then hung the shirt back up. As he did, I caught the faintest whiff of tuberose blossoms the leftover scent of my Michael Kors perfume. Seth had never worn or washed it again, I realized with a start. Hed just kept it like some sort of treasured arti particular.After that, he simply grabbed the first T-shirt his hand came across, without even looking. It was an old favorite of his, showing the Tasmanian Devil from Looney Tunes. Seths mood had shifted considerably, bulge to something a little more solemn and thoughtful than when hed gotten out of the shower. My observations didnt go into his head, though. I could only judge by outside signs.His reason for getting up glowering out to be a trip to his brothers house. Like always, the older Mortensens home was chaotic, with small adorable blond girls running around, many of them shriek ing when they saw their favorite uncle. Hed barely stepped inside when Andrea, his sister-in-law, came out to greet him. She wore a make jacket with her jeans and T-shirt, her blond hair slicked back into a neat ponytail. She gave Seth a startled look.You didnt bring your laptop? Andrea was as cheerful as always but appeared tired.He gestured over to where his twin nieces, McKenna and Morgan, were playing tug of war with a string of Christmas lights. It was odd because Christmas was over a month away(predicate) and also because the lights were plugged in, which collectmed like some sort of electrical risk to me. Apparently Seth felt the same way because he hastily intercepted them and aloof the string of lights altogether, amid much protest.I dont think Ill get much work done with these guys, he state dryly.Yeah, she admitted. I can go steady that. She glanced at her watch. Okay, gotta go. I dont know how long thisll take.No problem, he said. Do what you need to.She scurried ou t the door. I wanted to ask where she was off to but had no means. Again, I was reminded how out of the loop I was from the Mortensen knowledge base now. Once I would have known every detail.Kendall, a precocious nine-year-old, solemnly walked up to Seth. Uncle Seth, she said, will you play bestow with me?Seth arched an eyebrow. Loan? Whats that?Its where Im the mortgage broker, and you come to get a loan for a house but dont have the money for a down payment. She paused. Well have to make a pretend income fax for you.Tax, he corrected. And how about we go to the bookstore instead?She frowned. I want to play Loan.They have real estate books there, he said. I dont think we can play Loan without sufficient background.Okay, she conceded. We can go.Brandy strolled into the living room just then with her four-year-old sister in her arms. Kayla looked like shed woken up from a nap and sleepily had her head against Brandys shoulder. I loved all the girls, but something about Kayla always affected me more strongly.Go where? asked Brandy, shifting Kaylas weight. Although she held her sister tenderly, Brandy had a dark cloud around her.To Emerald City.Brandy sighed. Dont you spend enough time there?Maddie got a few pairs of shoes for the dress and ask you to try them on.Brandy gave him a look that exquisitely expressed all of her feelings on that topic.Dont start, he warned, in as chastising a tone as Id ever comprehend him use. Welcome to adolescence, Seth.Is Georgina working? she asked.Kendall looked up from where shed been starting to color. In orange crayon, a blank piece of paper read IRS.Yeah, can we see Georgina? Kendall piped in.Seth looked pained. I dont know if shes there or not.I didnt know either. I didnt know if this was a true or false dream. It felt true so far, but I didnt trust the Oneroi. Being an observer, I had to think I wouldnt be there. Certainly I wouldnt if this were true. I wondered what would happen at the store when I suddenly stopped sho wing up.I can just stay here while youre gone, Brandy said. Mom doesnt mind if Im alone.Then you cant try on the shoes. Which defeats the whole purpose.After a carefully worded discussion, in which Brandy suggested he just bring the shoes to her, she finally conceded. With the whole gang along, they had to take the Mortensen van, which Seth didnt seem overly stir about. But there was no other way to transport five girls, one of whom needed a car buttocks.The troop arrived at Emerald City. Seth left the four younger ones in the kids section, which was a wonderland of picture books, puzzles, and stuffed animals. Janice was working that area today and told him shed keep an eye on the girls. Seth also put Kendall in charge of her sisters, with the bribe that hed buy her some finance books.That left him and Brandy to find Maddie, who was holed up in an office. Her face lit up when she saw them, and she practically flew from her seat to give him a quick kiss. Brandy scowled, and a troub led feeling burned within me. The love on Maddies face was so obvious, so stronganyone could see it. She made no attempts to hide it, even at work. I hated their relationship, but how could I resent her feelings? How could I resent her loving the man who meant the realism to me?Hows work? he asked her, smiling fondly. Was that his way of showing love too? How had he looked around me? For some reason, I was certain hed been differenthadnt he? I couldnt remember.Maddie gestured to the desk she shared with Doug. A little crazy. Yet strangely boring. Im stuck on paperwork all day. Performance reviews.Hey, Im stuck on paperwork every day.She rolled her eyes. Bad joke. And not the same at all.Try putting some sex and violence into the reviews, and they might go faster.I was too disturbed by their banter to pay much attention to the fact that Maddie was doing my job. Brandy looked equally pained by the conversation. As Maddie and Seth spoke, I studied him further, nerve-racking to read his feelings. Yes, there was affectionyet, it reminded me a little of the warm indulgence he showed his nieces.At last, Maddie produced a shopping bag full of shoes. Brandys dress was hanging in the office, and Maddie ordered Seth to leave while his niece changed. near before he was shooed out, Maddie remarked to Brandy, Im glad this color looks good on you. I decided to do everything purple because of how great it looked on Georgina. I found some awesome flowers that go with it all too.Oh, fucking fantastic. I had influenced the color scheme for their wedding. Seth left, and I went with him. He wandered through the store, browsing through books an activity he never tired of. Several employees said hello to him as they passed by.Including me.Seeing as the Oneroi had put me in dreams a couple times now, I shouldnt have been surprised. Except, whenever I was a character in the theatre of these dreams, Id always had awareness of it. Id watched me and felt me. Now, I saw myself approac h Seth exactly the same way Id seen Maddie and Brandy approach him. I was still objective. No inner connection. Again, just like watching a movie. I didnt entirely understand it, but nothing the Oneroi did should really shock me anymore.Hey, I (she?) said, shelving a couple books. They were copies of The Scarlet Letter, and Id set them in new releases.Hey, said Seth, a weird mix of shyness and familiarity in his manner. Hows it going?Not bad, I said. Quiet day. Mostly just putting away books.Youve got Maddie doing reviews.Yeah, well, I thought she could handle it. Besides, this dress is new. Itd be a shame to keep it hidden.My watching self had already noticed the dress because that was second nature to me. It was a great dress but not necessarily one to wear to work. It was a silk sheath that stopped high on the thigh, with straps tying around the neck and a scoop neckline that showed a considerable amount of cleavage. There was no bra anywhere. I looked like I should have been clu bbing, not shelving. Seeing as this whole vision was no memory of mine, the dress only furthered the fact that this was one of the lies. I wasnt afraid to tart it up, but even I had boundaries at work.Seth seemed surprised at the dress but not unappreciative. You should be hand-selling, he said. Go outside with a book, and I bet you could push it on anyone.This dress might not work on everyone, I pointed out.He gave me one of those little smiles of his, and I wondered if the other Georgina melted like I did. The dress is only half of it. Youre charming enough to talk anyone into anything.I gave him a smile in return, one that was both cheery and sly. Anything?The innuendo didnt progress because Kayla suddenly pranced over and wrapped her arms around Seths legs. He scooped her up and glanced around. What happened to Kendall? No finance books for bad babysitters.My alter ego peered over toward the magazines. Is that her? I sounded uncertain, which was odd because when Seth turned to s ee, it was perfectly obvious it was Kendall. She was reading Forbes.Seth sighed and called her over. She brightened when she saw me. Hi, Georgina Youre so pretty today.Thanks, I said, beaming.You were supposed to be in charge, said Seth. Go get the twins. Hopefully they havent wandered out into traffic.Kendall shook her head. Theyre playing with puzzles. But she raced off nonetheless.Kayla was consummate(a) around the store in that distracted way children her age had, watching the people and sights. Seth gave her a slight nudge. What about you? Arent you going to say hi to Georgina?Kayla glanced in the direction he indicated, looked me over, and then continued her survey of the store. It wasnt so much she shunned me or was repulsed by me it was more like she was disinterested. I didnt stand out to her more than any other patron or even one of the shelves.One of her moods, said Seth apologetically.Brandy surfaced, still annoyed by the shoes, but immensely happy to see me. The rest o f the girls were rustled up, and after a bit more chatting, Seth and the nieces left me to my bad shelving. Hed continued holding Kayla in his arms, and she suddenly turned to him in all seriousness.When are you going to find Georgina? she asked. Her voice was small and sweet. She rarely spoke, so I always loved the sound of it when she did.He frowned, trying to open the van door with one hand. Brandy helped him. We just saw Georgina, he said. Inside.No, we didnt, said Kayla.We did. You snubbed her, he teased. I told you to say hello.That wasnt Georgina. You have to find her.What have you been dope? Brandy asked, taking over to buckle Kayla into her booster. That was Georgina.Seth sighed. Be careful with your choice of expressions.The topic dropped after that, but as they drove back to Terry and Andreas, a chill ran through me. Kayla knew. Kayla knew I was gone. This must be a true dream after all. Wed learned recently that she had the faintest stirring of psychic powers and the ab ility to see some things on the supernatural plane. She had a vague sense of my aura, and shed realized that it wasnt me in the store. Thats why shed been so disinterested. It was also why I hadnt been inside that Georgina. It wasnt Georgina.Then who was it?With a sinking feeling, I immediately answered my own question. Who else would have an interest in looking like me and flirting with Seth?Simone. Simone was impersonating me in my absence, I was certain of it. Son of a bitch. I couldnt feel her aura in this dream form, and no earthborn could, period. Except for Kayla. Fuck. This was not what I needed.The rest of Seths day was uneventful, though he thankfully never ran into me again. Andrea returned, and it was then I learned shed been at a doctors appointment. She thanked Seth for his help, though it took a long time for him to leave, due to all the younger girls good-byes.Seth finally returned to his condo and spent the day writing, which was boring for me to watch. I didnt ge t why the Oneroi hadnt pulled me out yet. Sure, it had been disheartening to see that no mortal knew I was gone, but this dream hadnt had the devastating effects of the others.Evening fell, and Maddie returned home. Seth, engrossed in his work, stayed at his desk until she found him and spun his chair around. She climbed onto his lap, wrapping her legs around him in a way very uniform to what I used to do.He smiled at her, wrapping his arms around her as well and returning her hello kiss.How was your paperwork? he asked.Maddie ran her fingers along the side of his face, that love radiating off of her. Nonstop. Georgina left it all on me today. I dont know what was up with that.She said she thought you could handle it.Maddie pulled a face. More like she wanted to take the day off and prance around. Did you see that dress she was wearing? I mean, yeah, she can pull off anything she wants to wear, but that wasnt really work appropriate.He laughed and pulled her closer. I think Georgin a thinks her wit and charm can let her get away with anything she wants.Yeah, well, shes not as funny as she always thinks she is, grumbled Maddie. And all she got away with today was looking like she was trying to pick up some guy at the store.Wouldnt be the first time, said Seth with a shrug.What?You didnt know? She sleeps with Warren all the time. Usually in his office.I couldnt believe what I was hearing. Not only were the two of them mocking me, Seth had also told Maddie about my on-again off-again affair with the stores owner Warren. Doug had always had his suspicions, but other than Seth, no one else knew. I had never expected Seth to betray that secret.I had no idea, said Maddie. And yetI dont know. Maybe I did. I mean, everything she wears is kind of slutty.She sleeps around a lot. Shell pretty much go home with anyone. He paused. She even tried it with me once.Really? Maddies eyes went wide. Whatd you do?Nothing. I have no interest in that. I couldnt handle being with some one so easy. Shed probably sleep with all my friends while we were dating. He cupped Maddies face in his hands. Not that it matters. I have no reason to even go looking, not when I have the best thing right here.He drew her to him, and they kissed again. It wasnt the earlier hello kiss either. It was deep and ardent, both of them eagerly trying to get as much of the other as they could. His hands gripped hold of the bottom of her tank top and jerked it over her head, revealing a black satin bra I was pretty sure Id helped her pick out. Never breaking the kiss, his hands then went around her waist as he half-carried, half-stumbled out of the office and into the bedroom. They fell onto the covers, hands moving all over each others bodies and kisses starting to spread beyond lips.No, I thought, unsure if the Oneroi could hear me or not. No. I dont want to see this. Take me back. Take me back to the box. Send me to another dream.But if they were there, they werent listening. I had no ey es to close. I couldnt look away. There was no way to unsee what I was seeing. Id experienced a lot of heart-wrenching things in my relationship with Seth, things that had hurt me so badly that I swore I wanted to die. But nothing, nothing could have watchful me for seeing him have sex with another woman. And it wasnt just watching the act itself, the way their naked bodies intertwined with one another and the cries of pleasure elicited in the tiptop of orgasm.It was the look on his face as he did it. There it was. The love Id been searching for earlier. Id thought before he only regarded her with a strong affection, similar to the fond love he had for his nieces. No. This was passion I saw on his face, the kind of love that burned so deeply, it connected two peoples souls.He was looking at her the way hed once looked at me.I had never thought it was possible. Somewhere, somehow, Id been convinced that he loved her in a different way from me. Maybe their love was strong, but Id fel t certain it could never match what he felt for me. Ours was different. Yet, seeing them now, I saw that wasnt true. And when, at the end, he told her she was his world just as hed once told me I knew that I really was nothing special. The love he had for me was gone.And in the terrible, excruciating pain of that moment, I no longer wanted to die. There was no point because I was certain just then that I had died because surely, surely, Hell couldnt be worse than this.